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P age b e a r T e rry . [x # s n t e v e ry o n e ? I m s ittin g on a b a rs to o l o n e n ig h t d r o w n in g m y angst w it h Jack D aniels a n d cocoa. w h e n a s tu n n in g y o u n g w o m a n p lo p s d o w n n e x t to m e ask h o w it s g o in g she says lo u s y San F ra n cisco b ea r U n cle M ik e . I On h e r w a y to she s been h ic c u p p in g 'h ic c o u g h in g , a c tu a lly » since S e a ttle z E ver th e good S a m a rita n I ask if she s tr ie d I m r e c e n tly s in g le a fte r tw e lv e y e a rs of m a rria g e h a n g in g u p s id e d o w n fro m an oak b ra n c h w it h a T he d a tin g g a m e su cks c o w o rk e rs are o u t. I m to o o ld • 3 4 » fo r th e b a r scene I m not v ir g in b a d g e r s tra p p e d to h e r face w it h a s ilk sca rf C le a rly in no m ood fo r fu n . she asks th e in to c e lib a c y a nd m a s tu rb a tio n o n ly ta k e s a b a r m a id fo r a pap er n a p k in a nd a b o ttle o f p e rs o n so fa r b itte r s H ere s m y q u e s tio n I h a v e a lo n g tim e m a le f r ie n d w h o s also s in g le n o w W e ve s u c k in g on it L a te ly , w e v e s ta rte d f lir t in g T h a t s th e p ro b le m to h e a r it does it m ake a n y n oise? R alph W , G a rib a ld i b e a r R alph b e a r L o n e ly , F o rg e t to ta k e o u r m e d ic in e aga in d id w e ? Does w h a t w o rk o u t*' M a k in g lo v e w ith a S ound, as y o u r d o c to r s h o u ld h a v e e x p la in e d f r i e n d > Rogue th a t he once w as. U n cle M ik e practice to y o u . is e n e rg y to r mass, if y o u c o u n t h e a v y n e v e r to be n a k e d w ith m e ta l c o n c e rts and g un shots» a n yo n e w h o s not r ip p le s in th e a ir I h a t y o u sig n y o u r s e lf L o n e ly is cause fo r B e ing lo n e ly m eans n e v e r h a v in g to say y o u e n jo y y o u r o w n c o m p a n y se ldom m a k e good f r ie n d s Those w h o d o n t U n cle M ik e can re la te to th e lim its o f c e lib a c y and p a rtn e rle s s s e i But. as his g r a n n y used to c ro o n as she b o u n c e d us on h e r knee, n o t b e in g in v o lv e d is n a tu re s w a y o f sa yin g , so w h a t? IÛZ3 W h ile U ncle M ik e trie s n e v e r S easide ., 0 \ ?38-S$30 e g o c e n tric to im a g in e th a t w h e n y o u r ty m p a n ic 5U Y+SELL m e m b ra n e s a re e ls e w h e re th e u n iv e rs e is re d u c e d to m im in g Just because y o u a re n t th e re doesn t m ean th e fo re s t isn t B a m b i and th e b u n n y r a b b its are. w e HOPE L w o u ld w a g e r, v e r y m u ch a w a re o f la rg e p e r p e n d ic u la r p la n ts c ra s h in g in to th e t r illiu m s to h e a rts are in th e r ig h t place a nd n o one is u sin g a n y o n e a r o ll on th e fu to n p r o b a b ly w o n t e n d a On th e o th e r h a n d , it w ill d e fin it e ly d y n a m ite th e s ta tu s q u o For th e th o u g h tfu l, th e re is no such th in g as casua l sex M ik e suggests y o u t r y th e la u n d ro m a t o r c h a in s a w s 303/ 325 2323 U n cle M ik e has tro u b le b e lie v in g a c e n tu r y o ld o rg a n is im c o u ld c r y o u t in th e w ild e rn e s s if e x p e rie n c e h a d n t ta u g h t it s o m e th in g w a s On th e o th e r h a n d , sp e a k in g s t r ic t ly »and w e S in i f i e u v r r e a lly sh o u ld » th e a n s w e r to y o u r q u e s tio n is yes books 1 he m o th e r o f a ll science is e m p irc is m . a e tc . b e lie f s y s te m w h ic h lim its r e a lit y to th a t w h ic h As a n y m an w ill a tte s t, can be m e a s u re d w o m e n are ju s t as a b le to h it one o v e r th e head a n d d ra g one in to th e ca ve as a n y post - G lo ria th e p o o r sch m u ck is b o u n d to be s w e a tin g as m u c h b lo o d as y o u F To m easure, o ne m u s t o b s e rv e W ith o u t o b s e rv a tio n , th e re are n o e v e n ts and. th e r e fo re , n o th in g th a t q u a lifie s as r e a lit y I f y o u r a ssessm en t is c o rre c t and e q u a tio n s of In th e r 1 ^ \ J*' q u a tu m m e chan ics w h e n y o u close y o u r eyes, th e w o r ld goes a w a y I C l A IS o e c O U N IV W (*A I N S CRISIS SERVICI U n cle M ik e senses a c o n n e c tio n b e tw e e n th is I n v it e h im fo r d in n e r and a s u b s ta n tiv e ch a t and m a ke su re y o u h a v e an e x tra to o th b ru s h T H E R A P IS T and n o S h o u ld y o u m a k e a g e s tu re ? W h a t are yo u , th e tw o o f y o u a re co f lir t in g MASSAGE b io c h e m ic a lly scream w h e n a tta c k e d b y disease lis te n in g If w hat e ith e r o f y o u are lo o k in g fo r is a d a llia n c e U n cle n e w o n th e p la n e t? H A R R IS L IC E N S E D One s h o u ld also n o t fo rg e t th a t tre e s As to w h e th e r y o u s h o u ld ta k e y o u r f r ie n d b ed , h o w w o u ld U ncle M ik e k n o w ? I f y o u r S te in e m m ale B ooks < CM O S m ade m a n ife s t b y to la u g h at a n y o n e s p a ra d e , it m a y be a ta d U n cle M ik e m a y liv e a lo n e b u t he is not fr ie n d s h ip M«mt<xk CfaiAOA U»*| 43< 1301 Ph. 436-2932 I f a tre e fa lls m the fo re s t and n o o n e is th e re L o n e ly in Eugene lo n e ly I 33 C innam on R ota. Pizza by tha Sbca M uffin* Eapraaao and Cooktaa 239 N H E M LO C K o r d o th in g s lik e th is w o rk o u t? c o n c e rn CAHMOH beach •O O K C O M P A H Y FO I o . 634 b e a r U ncle M ik e g e s tu re ? Is b e in g h o rn y |u s t m a k in g me s tu p id it a she s m ile d Or S h o u ld 1 ris k o u r fr ie n d s h ip a n d m a ke a makes W o rks e v e r y tim e , A n d fo r w h a t it s w o r th it d id N o th in g o v e r t b u t th e c a rd s a re one th e ta b le at least I th in k th e y are She soaks th e c e n te r of th e n a p k in w it h th e n a s ty s tu ff, tw is ts it in to a te a t a n d b e g in s be e n b u d d ie s fo r y e a rs n o t q u ite b r o th e r and s is te r b u t close EAT MORE COOKIES --------------- —— 3?S SZ3S f- a nd th e re c e n t d is c o v e ry th a t w a tc h in g te le v is io n uses less e n e rg y th a t s ittin g on th e couch d o in g n o th in g b e a r U n cle M ik e . Bruce E. N im s, P.C. Got a c u re fo r th e h iccu p s? C i g l i u t o PUBLIC ACCOUNTANT T e r r ie L . 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